The Evolution of D.N.A.
By Mr. Kage.


D.N.A. it is the building material that we all need in order to create life, and in order to survive D.N.A itself needs to evolve, it needs to adapt to its surroundings and environment and changes that occur around it. I myself the “Blueprint for Pain”, I have had the need to adapt, change and evolve in order to survive and it for those reasons that ‘D.N.A’ was born. Let me backtrack slightly and take you into regression (it’s just like being back on the couch)…. A few short months I suffered the two darkest moments in my otherwise faultless and glittering career….

February/March/April 2007…….

It is a fact no matter how many times and how hard I try to banish it from my memory that I both lost and subsequently failed to regain the NPWA Title in successive events to Enigma and that is a fact that I have to reconcile myself with for the rest of my not just career but my life. That not withstanding I also had to suffer the tripled barrelled humiliation of losing my Valet/Nurse Anna Thetic, losing my dignity when carted out of Haydock Catholic Club whilst trussed up like a Christmas Turkey, but added to that losing my job and having to spend another torturous time in the Worsley Mesnes Mental hospital. Now it was during those dark, cold and lonely nights alone in my ‘room’ that I conceived the idea for the faction of all factions, something that could ravage through the NPWA, so I injected the NPWA with some D.N.A.

Here & Now……

It doesn’t really matter how and why I got myself back into the NPWA after being unceremoniously fired by Gary Wild (enjoyed that moment in your soon to be short lived career didn’t you??, Well don’t worry I’ll be dealing with you soon enough), we’ll leave that question in the hands of some very wealthy lawyers wont we?? What is important and what really matters is here and now and what D.N.A. intends to with the NPWA, well suffice to say I’ll repeat what I’ve said before, We’re going to “RAPE, PLUNDER & PILLAGE THIS ENTIRE COMPANY”, but I’m not going to give away all our secrets here am I?? Where would the fun in that be, you see I like surprises as much as anyone, and I’m not fool enough to tell you what you want to know, im not as stupid as you people reading this article, but I will answer a frequently asked question of me these days; Why Johnny Vodka & ‘The Messiah’ Xander Cooper??

Well this refers back to what I mentioned earlier when referring back to evolution, you simple cretins may not realise this but myself like other undesirable individuals I care not to mention, do spend a lot of time, blood, sweat and tears at the NPWA training facility, watching, learning, observing and I’ve seen a lot of people come and I’ve seen even more people go, and this gives me the perfect opportunity to scope the upcoming talent in the NPWA, wait a minute you thought all this with D.N.A was a spur of the moment thing that was put together at the last minute?? Oh no, you see people I have planned, schemed, plotted and manipulated this whole thing for months, this isn’t a ‘flash’ (we’ll be dealing him very soon) in the pan faction like oh let me see, ‘The Freek Show’ yup “What the Hell Was That???”, or some wannabe hoodies running round like it was Hallowe’en like ‘FEAR’ and another thing it wont be is a revolving door letting any Tom, Dick or Ice in like the beloved ‘Governing Body.’

Let me tell you people something, Johnny Vodka & ‘The Messiah’ Xander Cooper are the Future of the NPWA, and I do mean the REAL future and not that joker Matt Slater, how’s the knee boy??, you certainly are in the thick of things at the moment my unfortunate friend, enemies either side with no-one to turn to?? Poor unfortunate you!!

I wouldn’t just let anybody stand side by side and toe to toe with me to execute my plans for the NPWA, we are at war with the entire NPWA and want men by my side that are prepared for war and ready to die for our cause. These two gentlemen I have selected have the strength, youth, aggression, skills, arrogance, nastiness and killer instinct, all the necessary tools required for the job in hand, think about this as well, youth on their side and as they mature and take on more skills and knowledge with my hand to guide them, I can predict one thing for the NPWA….. MASS GENOCIDE.

The other question asked of me lately, is why not anybody else, well lets address that issue also, who did you want me to select?? Gary Wild?? Firstly he fired me, Secondly anyone who talks to stuffed animals is a mental case, and I can’t be associated with crazy people. Paul ‘Flash’ Andrews?? Oh really, he doesn’t like me, I detest and hate him, he’s a drunk has a bad haircut, he’s got my title and sucks up to the fans, enough reasons for you?? Plus added to the fact that I hear he enjoys hospital food so in that case he just end up spending time there to enjoy it……

What about Adonis? you know I thought long and hard about Adonis and he was really close to getting an invitation, that was until he turned his back on his Principals, Gov. Marsden and sided with the fans and become just another target. Who else do we have, ah yes Enigma and Matt Slater, or should we call them R2-D2 and the Cowardly Lion? I couldn’t think of two worse people to select and that’s why I chose to make prime examples of them the last time out at Haydock Catholic Club and will guarantee to make even bigger examples of them this time, you see the pair of them are not very bright and rather naive, oh by the way Slater when your knees good and better be warned because I’m going to take my chair and blast your knee into a thousand pieces.

Brickwall? Very interesting, the only problem with Mr. ‘Wall is that he needs to look long and hard at himself and begin to realise just how bad he can become if he only allowed himself, until then not interested, Slayer?? No, no spends too much time around the recycling bins at a well known Supermarket. So who does that leave? Ultimate Devastation, Fireball, Myers, they’ve got more than enough on their hands beating the snot outta each other, I’ve got the very cream of the crop, the very best the NPWA has to offer….

Night of Champions 6, was all told a bad night for D.N.A and I’ll be the first to admit that we didn’t set out to achieve what we wished for, but that only makes us more hungrier, more determined, more nasty, more devious and more sneakier, as the terrible threesome we will take out Mr. Slater & Shorty for good, leaving a trail of destruction in our path and as the winning captain I will go forward to face Mr. Andrews once more to take back what rightfully belongs to me, the NPWA Heavyweight Title…..

You see this time Andrews, LC Cobra may be at your side but you don’t have some Overweight Chubby Canadian Monkey, Robin whatshisname protecting your back in the ring, this time me and you, one on one, no more questions no more excuses, no more crying , no more whining, the end is nigh!!!!!!

Mr. Kage,
August 2007.